“Teeth,” or the Show I Don’t Think I’ll Recommend to My Grandparents
Grandma and Grandpa, you’re welcome to see this show, but I can’t guarantee you’ll be as enthusiastic about it.
“Teeth” is a horror-comedy musical about an evangelical Christian teen whose vagina has teeth. Tack on the show’s writing team of Michael R. Jackson (who wrote the Tony-winning “A Strange Loop”) and Anna K. Jacobs, and it’s not a hard sell — at least for audience members looking for something with a bite.
Yet Playwrights Horizons’ production of “Teeth” elevates the already insane concept to something bigger, bolder, and wilder. Everyone is on their A-game, and we’re breathlessly following the nearly two-hour show as it tackles sexuality, religion, misogyny, femininity, and patriarchy (just to name a few).
“It’s a play about ideology,” Michael R. Jackson said in a talkback after the preview I saw last Wednesday. While the show does cover a ton of different modern concepts and challenges, we can’t forget that it’s also a show about a girl with teeth in her vagina. To be both poignant and hilarious is a feat.
“Teeth,” based on the 2007 movie of the same name, follows the story of Dawn (Alyse Alan Louis), the stepdaughter of a pastor (Steven Pasquale — husband of Philippa Soo, who was regrettably not in the audience when I went) who is the purest of all the “Promise Keeper Girls.” The PKGs, as is bedazzled on all of their jackets, are holy teenagers who push down desire and vow to save themselves for marriage. In Eden, the town in which the musical is set, women are submissive and faithful, and men are loyal leaders, or at least try to be. Tobey (Jason Gotay), Dawn’s boyfriend, worries he’s not good enough for how perfect Dawn is — after all, he sings, “Modest is Hottest,” and so Dawn is off the charts.
Dawn reveals she’s not as pure as she’s cracked up to be — she struggles with desire, too. Alyse Alan Louis literally squirms her body around with want, like she’s battling some sort of parasite inside of her. At the end of their interaction, Tony has to run off stage with his jacket in front of his midsection.
While Dawn and the PKGs struggle with their sexual feelings and desires, there’s darkness lurking in her own home. Her stepbrother, Brad (Will Connolly), knows something that Dawn doesn’t: her vagina has teeth in it, which he knows because he tried to touch her when they were kids playing in the pool. (I’ll ignore the weird incest vibes here and forgive this.) It’s led him to this vendetta against all women; he finds community online in the “Truthseekers,” led by a mysterious, Australian “godfather” we never see. These incels implore him to take back his manhood and get revenge on Dawn.
Dawn has her own non-stepbrother problems to deal with when her feelings for Tobey come to an (almost) climax. In order to act on their desires, Dawn and Tobey decide to baptize themselves in a lake and get married, which Tobey wishes to consummate right as Dawn agrees. At first, Dawn’s excited, but soon we start to hear her pain and she yells for Tobey to stop. When he doesn’t, we hear what sounds like a crunch, a flash of red, and his scream: Dawn’s vagina has bit his penis off. There’s a bloody, phallic stub prop to prove it.
The show goes off the rails from there in ways I could have never expected, but for the most part enjoyed. (I can’t get “Teeth,” the song the cast sings after Dawn realizes she has vagina dentata, out of my head.) Dawn’s now on the run, trying to grapple with the murderous thing she’s done, and finds only fake comfort: first, in a gynecologist that clearly wants to do more than give her an exam; then, in a gay church member, Ryan (Jared Loftin) who uses her to try to set his record literally straight. One by one, the men in her life have turned on her, and there’s nothing left to do but wrong them right back.
There’s so much jam-packed into this rollercoaster of a musical, but it’s not really shoved down our throats; instead, the writers and cast let us pick up on what resonates with us. The show never pauses for a laugh, but rather lets one joke roll into another. From punchline to chaotic twist, the cast is high energy and doesn’t falter, even when the material buckles a bit beneath them. While Michael R. Jackson and Anna K. Jacobs have been working on this show for 15 years, the show is still finding its grounding off the page. In the talkback, they shared that 36 songs had been cut, and that the show’s ending still is up in the air — I’m happy I’m going back to see it after it officially opens to find out what changes.
Yet whenever the show slips into a too-perfect rhyme, someone falters off-pitch, or there’s almost too much going on onstage, it’s still a feat to watch. It’s clear there’s intention and even fun behind so many of the production elements of the show. The scenic design by Adam Rigg seems simple at first, yet magically transforms from a church to the dark web to the lake where Dawn kills her first victim, then — without too much of a spoiler — other elements of the world. Costumes (by Enver Chakartash) are almost cringingly accurate; the PKGs wear leggings and shirts under their dresses, the picture of modesty; at one point, Ryan proclaims he’s going to be a straight man while wearing a sparkly silver robe.
“Teeth” is not for everyone. That’s more than OK — it’s what makes me excited about the boundaries and future of theater. It was electric to be in a younger, more diverse audience who was not only accepting, but actively cheering on the audacious, crude, sexual, and modern content. “Teeth” is an experience; if it’s one that if you’re open to, you’ll be rewarded with an incredible night of new theater.
Convinced to see Teeth yet (or horrified and want to stay away)? Here’s the breakdown:
How I found out about it: I believe a mix of emails from Playwrights Horizons, Instagram, and Emily.
Why I went: Exactly what I said in the first two lines of the review: the concept and the writing team. I didn’t need much more to be not only intrigued, but desperate for tickets.
How I got tickets: Ushering! It’s not often that you’re in the middle of a hike in Costa Rica quickly trying to figure out dates you can usher so you don’t miss the sign-up window. Shout-out to Emily for missing her subway stop to land us our sign-up. And, we did it again — we’re going back to usher in April, after the show officially opens! Anyone can sign up to be a volunteer usher. Playwrights Horizons also has some of the cheapest under 30 tickets; you can get one $20 ticket for every show if you sign up (and $10 if you’re a student!).
Stay tuned for second-round thoughts on “Teeth” (Teeth teeth, teeth, teeeeeeeeth), and more new shows!